This eBook gives you the benefit of my extensive experience to help you to really understand what Aspergers Syndrome and Autism are. It will give you effective tools to really make a big difference to the happiness and security of your child

BULLY FOR ME!

An Article on Bullying and children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

Community awareness continues to be a challenge for us all in
creating a more accepting environment for children with an Autism
Spectrum Disorder (ASD). In schools, all children have to deal with the
usual social cliques and harshness of the unstructured schoolyard play.
This is hard for many children at the best of times, let alone a child
who has trouble perceiving and interpreting the more subtle social
cues of everyday interaction. Statistics done of British schools, show
that children with special Needs (including ASD) are three times
more likely to be bullied than their peers of the same age. (National
Autistic Society) It is important to be aware if your child is being
bullied. If they are, you need to find out why and what you can do to
either prevent or deal with this situation.

What is Bullying?
Bullying is generally defined as a power imbalance, where the
perpetrator has some intent to repeatedly hurt a distressed
victim, either physically, socially or emotionally.
Bullying may be carried out either in a DIRECT or
INDIRECT fashion.

Direct bullying may incorporate, physical assault, verbal assault and
intrusive gestures and facial expressions. For example:
Steven, a 9 year old Autistic boy is confronted in the bathroom by an
older boy, who gives him an “accidental” bump and with a nasty stare,
says “sorry” in a very sarcastic tone.

Indirect Bullying involves social exclusion, intentional damage to
peer relationships, gossiping or spreading rumors behind the victim’s
back and the shunning of the child from the group.
Ten year old Anna who has Asperger’s Syndrome, is always last to be
picked by her peers to be a part of the netball teams in sport time.
She is keen to be a part of the group, yet is passively excluded and
isolated from the group. She now no longer expects to be chosen for
anything by her peers.

What Kind of Child is the Target?
Heinrichs (2003) described two profiles of children who are targeted by
Bullies, “passive” and “provocative”. Bullies target children who behave in either a PASSIVE or PROVOCATIVE manner

Passive Targets
As a rule, Passive targets are those children who are not great at
sport and whilst being weaker than their peers, are generally afraid for
their physical wellbeing, particularly when engaged in sport, physical
fights and rough and tumble activities. They may be more anxious,
emotionally sensitive, insecure and have low self esteem.
“Passsive” targets are not aggressive, are poor socially with their own
peers, but are much better with younger children and adults.

Provocative Targets
These children combine anxiety with aggression. They may be
physically weaker, view themselves negatively and are generally
unhappy, insecure and anxious. There feelings may be expressed
outwardly by answering back, physically lashing out or tantrums when
they are frustrated or things do not go their way. They can be
perceived as being irritating, immature and offensive by their peers
and adults alike.
When these children are subject to covert bullying, they will react
overtly. This perpetuates the negative view others have of them, since
their reaction may be seen as inappropriate, irritating and immature.
Children with Asperger’s Syndrome, for example, generally match one
or other of the two profiles described above. This means that they are
at significant risk of being a target for bullying.

Why are Children on the Autism Spectrum Vulnerable to Bullying?
Children with Autism may be targeted because of their

Is Your Child Being Bullied?
It is not always easy to know whether your child is being bullied. It is
important to gather information from a variety of sources to prevent
yourself from making any incorrect assumptions or deductions.

Listen to your child

If your child can adequately communicate with speech, listen to what
they tell you about their day, especially what they did in the
playground. Since it may be hard for your child to express their
feelings, it could be useful to support your discussion with pictures and
associate them with a schedule of the day. For example, you could
have a picture of class time, playtime and lunchtime, in the order that
it happens through the day and one at a time, have your child point to
a picture of either a happy, angry or sad face.
If they do not have much verbal communication, you will need to use
other means of detective work.

Watch out for any clear behaviour changes

Does your child seem to be more anxious than usual just before going
to school? Perhaps they are refusing to go to school.
Watch for any changes in their behaviour in more recent times. They
may have a reduced appetite, trouble with sleeping or having
nightmares. Look for any physical signs of scratches or bruising, or
any damaged clothing.
There could be many reasons behind these changes, but bullying may
be one of them. It is worthwhile investigating further.

Ask the school staff

You may want to have a discussion with your child’s teachers about
what is happening socially for your child in the classroom. They may
also be able to conduct a “kidwatch” where the teachers on duty on
the playground observe your child’s play and document who they play
with, where they hang out and any playground incidences that involve
your child.
Another avenue is to approach any other school staff, such as the bus
driver, canteen worker, cleaners, security staff etc. who may observe
your child in different parts of the school. The bus driver, for example,
may be able to observe the peer group in action in a less supervised
situation, thereby providing useful clues to the dynamics of your child’s
social situation.

Ask the Students

As a parent, you may wish to ask other classmates with whom you are
familiar, as to whether they had witnessed any teasing or bad
behaviour directed at your child.
You may say
“I am really worried about Fred as he seems very upset lately. I
am wondering if anyone has been behaving in an unfriendly or
hurtful way towards him. Have you seen any of this kind of
behaviour happening?”

Have your child use a “Grievance Book”
(Tony Attwood)

For older children, you may wish to create a “Grievance Book”, where
the child records all incidents of significance to them. Apart from
helping the child to express their feelings in writing, it also serves as a
chronological record of events that may be seen as a bullying problem.
The Modified Inventory of Wrongful
Activities
This is a questionnaire that can be completed by older children, which
can help to identify the types of bullying incidents that may be
happening at school. Once identified, strategies can be looked at with
the parents and teachers of the child.

So What Can You Do About It?
Once a problem has been identified, the problem should be attacked
from a variety of angles, the school, the individual child and their
specific behaviours at school and at home.

School
In general, all schools should have a bullying policy and a strategy for
prevention as well. Many schools use a “Systems Approach” and have
a policy of zero tolerance to bullying. This means that all similar
behaviour is treated in the same way always. In contrast to this, I
believe schools would be wiser to deal with the bullying issue using a
“Principles Approach”. This provides an accepted set of values that
permits teachers to cater to individual differences in applying a variety
of discipline strategies. The focus in this approach is on dignity and
respect and consistent promotion of the values at all times. This will
allow for a different response for children acting inappropriately (e.g.
AS students), when there is no intent or understanding behind the
behaviour. Simply giving out the “same punishment for all” would only
serve to further victimize the child with Asperger’s Syndrome.
In order to alleviate the situation, the school needs to understand the
situation fully as well as understanding the individual nature of child
with Autism or Asperger’s Syndrome. There is no doubt that adult
intervention is necessary to address the problems and you may need
to facilitate this by making the problem known very clearly and
assertively to the person who can take some action that will make the
most difference.
Children being bullied need a great deal of support and protection, but
bullies themselves and the passive witnesses to the bullying also need
intervention, if any change is to occur.
Students with Asperger’s Syndrome are very susceptible to bullies due
to their lack of understanding and naivety with respect to social
situations and the interpretations of others intentions. They may not
realize they are being bullied or manipulated and they often tolerate a
great deal of abuse simply to be with others rather than alone.

Billy is a 9 year old who has a diagnosis of Asperger’s. He is in 4th
grade. One day during lunch time, a fellow student from his class
came up to him and told him that a teacher wanted to see him up in
the a classroom next to the staffroom. Billy knew he was not allowed
inside during lunch play, but seeing as how he had been called to meet
the teacher, he went inside as asked. Needless to say, the teacher
wasn’t there and never would be! Trusting in the “friend”, Billy waited
for the teacher to come. Whilst waiting, Billy was asked angrily by
another teacher what he was doing inside and since his reason did not
appear to be founded in truth, Billy was chastised and given an after
school detention for being inside at lunchtime.

Not only does this demonstrate how vulnerable these children are to
other children’s taunts, but also to the importance of all teachers being
aware of the situation. Angry responses by adults simply increases the
anxiety and confusion in the child, as they have to deal not only with
being betrayed by their “friend” but also not being supported by the
adults around them.

The Individual Child at School and at Home
The child needs to be assessed to understand his/her individual
perceptions and levels of understanding. In addition to this, a
comprehensive understanding of the child’s sensory needs and
anxieties is also critical. This knowledge about your child can go a long
way to help to prevent situations from occurring, by simply modifying
the environment or eliminating a sensory element that may raise
anxiety in your child.
The e-Book I have written for this website, on “Dealing with
Behaviour and Children on the Autism Spectrum” extensively
covers the information on understanding your child’s sensory
patterns and what sensory strategies you can use to help your
child.
A variety of behavioural strategies can assist the situation. Once your
child’s profile is clearer through your investigations at school, you will
be better able to devise a plan of action.

Here are some other ideas for intervention.

There are many more ideas for dealing with this situation. The ideas
that I have provided here are just some of the more effective
strategies I have implemented in my work with children being bullied,
including those with a diagnosis of Aspergers.

In Conclusion.……..
Bullying is a very destructive thing and must be dealt with quickly, by
the adults around. As a parent, you need to listen and be observant of
any changes in your child’s behaviour. If you suspect a problem, try to
find out as much information as you can and communicate your
concerns to the school regularly and assertively.
Request a plan of action that can provide an environment that allows
your child to feel safer and supported by the adults around them.
Strategies need to be identified that provide structured ways for
children to interact in the playground, as well as a reliable and caring
adult that your child can speak to about their feelings and seek advice
on the best way to deal with a specific bullying event at school.
Finally, develop some strategies that you can use at home to help your
child to better understand both spoken and unspoken social rules, that
impact on the way they fit in with their own peer group. Above all,
provide your child with a feeling of unconditional love and acceptance.
Give them constructive criticism, but remember, for every negative
communication, give five positive ones!